Mastering the Art of Detachment

Sometimes manifesting your new dream life will cost you your old one.

Hellooooo,

I’m very happy to report that I’ve reverted back to my normal self after my bleak(ish) newsletter two weeks ago. Which just goes to show the duality of singleness. One day you’re depressed and the next you’re planning an impromptu trip to South America. We love that for me!

Before we dive in to this week’s newsletter, I want to share something that my friend Betsy texted in a group chat the other day. She said, “a relationship is not a reward.” Whoah. Let me say that again. A relationship is not a reward. It’s not something you have to be worthy of. It’s not something you have to deserve. It’s not a prize that comes when you’ve finally worked on yourself enough. And you don’t have to be entirely perfect and healed to obtain it. A relationship is complimentary to your already abundant life and won’t act as the “cure” to finally feeling whole and satisfied with your current reality.

When we want something so badly like that relationship or that job or more money, we can start to obsess over it. So much so, that our current reality doesn’t feel like enough without it. And that brings us to the topic of this newsletter - detaching from what you really want so that you can manifest it way fucking faster.

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I bet someone, at some point in your life, has told you “it’ll happen when you least expect it.” And I bet you, at some point in your life, have wanted to punch them in the face.

It’s annoying to hear, but there’s truth to it. When we want something so badly that we obsess over it, we start to create resistance towards getting that thing we want in the first place. We think we understand how it should happen, and when it should happen. We become impatient and frustrated. And we enter a state of desperation. Without this thing - we feel like our life isn’t complete.

To receive what you want, you need to stop obsessing over what you don’t have, and start manifesting with an attitude of knowingness. Knowingness = even though you might not have what you want so badly, you know it’ll come to you exactly when the timing is right. When you start to release your grip a bit on what you want, life becomes a lot more peaceful.

Remember that anything you’re trying to manifest for yourself is achievable and attainable. Every single person on this earth has completely different goals. One person’s dream partner has been rejected by somebody else. My dream vacation might be your hell. But the things we desire can only enter our minds because they’re possible for us.

Once you actually start to deem yourself worthy enough to receive everything you desire (even if it takes being a little bit delulu) - the more you’ll start to enter that “knowing” state. This takes practice and intentionality. You have to catch yourself in your own limiting beliefs so that you can nip them. How can you manifest new friendships if you don’t believe that you’re worthy of love? Or a new job when you don’t find yourself smart? Write down the limiting beliefs that come up for you daily so that you can become ultra aware of them. Say affirmations in the mirror. Remember that what you want is possible and it’ll happen exactly when it’s meant to. And if it doesn’t, something better will.

Send out a signal that you’re truly ready for whatever you’re trying to manifest. The universe is constantly taking note of what you’re giving your energy to. If you’re trying to manifest a partner, you probably shouldn’t be talking to your ex. Or stalking them. Or constantly thinking about them. It sends a signal that you’re not ready for someone new. Make a decision to be done entirely with whatever or whoever is holding you back from what you really desire. Sometimes manifesting your new dream life will cost you your old one.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows. Ok great. What the fuck does that actually mean? If you’re focusing on the things your life “lacks,” you’ll consistently feel like shit. Instead, you need to consciously make the decision to focus on the things that fill you with joy. You can mentally go through a gratitude list or distract yourself with a book or call someone to talk about something random. The more you fixate on the things you lack, the more your reality will reflect that misery back to you. The most important piece to truly learning how to detach comes from actively refocusing your thoughts somewhere else. Anywhere else.

That’s all she wrote.

If you’ve made it this far in this rather lengthy newsletter, thank you. I hope some of this was helpful. And if you’re interested, I wrote a newsletter a longgg time ago about detachment that covers some more ground here.

Talk soon <3